5 years....

Where has time gone? I know, it seems cliche, but really? Where does it go?

You see, this week my oldest turned 5. Yes, 5. OK, so for some that may not seem such a big deal, but to me that seems so strange. There is something about that number. 5. Not a baby, not a toddler. A little kid. It means the beginning of school (beyond, Preschool, that is).... Next year, she will be in kindergarten.

You know, so much has changed in these 5 years. 6 years ago, if you had asked me what I expected my life to look at in 2011, I am not sure what I would have said... but I know I would not have said that I would be a full time mom. I never expected to make the decision to stay home, but after having Allie, well... my world became a much different place. My values and priorities certainly changed... and I became a different person. Strange how a small 6 pound bundle (now a 40 pound 5 year old) can do that so quickly and effectively.

I have loved being home with her over the past 5 years. I have enjoyed watching her go from newborn, to toddler, to big sister, to little girl, and now to a girl. She has brought us so much laughter, joy and has taught me a great deal. It is always amazing to see the world through a child's eyes, and Allie is no exception. She brings light and love to us, and I am so thankful that God has brought her to our family.

Happy 5th Birthday Allison!! We love you very much!

Running towards the finish line....

So, I signed up for the Shamrock run again!! Yep, I did.. :) March 13 I will do the 15k one more time, in an effort to beat my time from last year. You see, I am not competitive against others, but my own time... so, I will run the 9plus miles, four of which go up a hill, then you go down... This year, though, I am part of a large team of folks from Mac taking on the Shamrock, so that should make for a fun after gathering!!

Next up....

Mac Triathlon. yep, I have not signed up for this.. but I will do so soon. May 21st, the McMinnville Parks and Rec Sprint Triathlon will be my first Triathlon... and I am looking forward to this..

Then, in August....

216 miles from Diamond Lake to Bend, Oregon... It is a 12 person relay team event, with each member doing 3 legs, ranging from 5-8 miles each. Uh, whose idea was this? this invovles van rides, sleeping in strange places, running at odd times, etc.

Then... Lets see... in September we have the Warrior Dash and Pints to Pasta... :)

Who knows what is between now and then... but atleast I am signed up for events that will keep me going, keep me motivated and keep me active... and a bit sane.

Forgiveness...

One of my relatives had this as their face book status recently:

Many times we withhold our forgiveness as a punishment to the one that hurt us. But, by doing so we are only punishing ourselves. Forgiveness is not a free pass to the offender; rather, it frees our hearts from the anger caused by hurt. An unforgiving heart is a hardened heart and, like an old, dried up sponge, a hardened heart is unable to soak up God’s love.

Forgiveness is a funny thing. Anger is even funnier. As a counselor, I have come to recognize that anger often is a secondary emotion, and is what comes out when we are hurt. Often we are "angry" at the person who has hurt us. However, what does this anger do? Does it change the other person's behavior? Does it make you feel better? No, No. It sits on your heart. It weighs on your soul.

I have had the conversation about forgiveness often with one of my sisters, and the concept of "letting someone off the hook". I know in my heart, that carrying around anger only hurts me. It is not changing anyone else, nor helping me move forward. It serves no purpose other than to bring more unhappiness into my life. Forgiveness does not excuse anything. Ultimately, why not forgive? Why not let it go? I have heard that the person does not deserve to be forgiven. Hm.... Didn't God give us this ultimate gift that none of us deserve? He sent His Son, to be alive with us and then to die for us? Did we deserve that? No, it is called Grace. God's great grace. No way can we ever earn that.

So, why do we feel so righteous that we will demand others to earn our forgiveness?

Currently, I am in place where I am looking closely at the concept of forgiveness, and balancing it out with accountability. You can forgive someone and hold them accountable, can't you? Either way, I think that what also speaks highly is the manner in which we move forward with this forgiveness and accountability. Responding to a sin by acting sinfully is wrong.

But how do we help those whose hearts are so hardened that they cannot see the path to forgiveness and just bring negativity where ever they go? Perhaps we do not help them. Perhaps we just lead by example and choose not to allow their toxicity to impact you. Not sure how to do that always, but it seems worth a try.

Where has December gone?

I was updating the family blog and realized that December is almost over, taking 2010 with it. It seems that we all begin the whole " where has time gone by" during this time... but this year, it seems especially so. I am nto sure why, but I feel like December was so quick, and many of my favorite things were missed... like singing tons of Christmas hymns.. now that Christmas is over, I find myself thinking I did not listen to Christmas music that much... and fudge, I did not make any Christmas Candy, nor did we decorate gingerbread men and houses. Hmm... We did do a lot of other things, but still, some of our favorites seem to have been missing.

So, what is in store for 2011? What big plans do you have? The Shaver family? Well, I am not sure about "big" plans... but I predict it will be a busy year again, just doing the things we do to entertain and take care of a family of small children.

Christmas Jammies

This year, I let the girls pick out their own jammie material, which was a huge challenge for me. You see, I have this vision of matching jammies, and do you think the girls picked out matching material? Even material that is coordinating? Of course not. But it was cute material, and it was what they wanted... so I made them. And, this year, they got matching snuggle blankets to go along with it....

Ornaments on the tree

It is that time. Time to trim our tree. I love this time of year. I love decorating for the holidays, the white lights, the nativity sets, the stockings... and the ornaments. I am sorta particular about our ornaments. I do not like plain old balls, I prefer more detailed ornaments. And, for the most part, I can tell you where each ornament hanging on our tree came from, when it was given to us or purchased and if there was a reason, what it is. And as we hang them on the tree, I think about this.. it makes for a very special time for me. I do not bore my kiddos with all the details of each ornament yet, but we do talk about ones that I know they will find fascinating..each of their "first" ornament, and such.

I recently saw this devotion on Ornaments.. and it really hit me as to the meaning of this season. I need to spend as much time examining what Jesus has done for me this season as I do on my ornaments.... and celebrating Him this year.

Civil War

I did something crazy... I went without my girls to the football game! hahaa. All season (yes, we are dorks with season tickets), I have gone to the games and tried to watch while both girls climbed over me, asked for food, and by the fourth quarter told me they were done watching football. Don't get me wrong, the girls love going to see the Beavers play. The enjoy tailgating and are mesmerized by the beginning of the game. Allie especially loves watching the Beavers "run out of the big helmet". But by the fourth quarter, the excitement has worn off and they want to play.

So, for Civil War this year, we hired a sitter for the day (yep, whole day.. tailgating before and after), and brought two of our friends to enjoy the game. While we did not win, it was like walking back in time. Being on OSU campus with Kyle, no kiddos to keep track of, and just enjoying the world around us. I think next year I will pick one game again... but only one game. I have to be honest, I missed my girls.